


fuck me (like we're lyin' on our deathbed)

by jaemsung



Series: the meaning of love [6]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Power Dynamics, Smut, Top Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, this is just me pushing my dom hyuck agenda :/
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 13:36:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21100334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaemsung/pseuds/jaemsung
Summary: “Is it still me, Mark?” Donghyuck asked, his intense gaze scanned over Mark’s exposed form, “Am I what you think about in bed?”Mark thought that donghyuck looked utterly ethereal under the dim lights, illuminating his collarbones and naked chest. His eyes were dark and swirling with nothing but revenge and power as his gaze fell on Mark.“It was always me, Mark you knew that,” Donghyuck leaned down until he was a mere centimetre away from Mark.





	fuck me (like we're lyin' on our deathbed)

**Author's Note:**

> HEAVILY based off:  
[sex with my ex by lil peep](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2quiCmtVcI)  
[happy ending, my ass by suggi](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIvf5NIYjBs)  
[lying is the most fun by p!atd](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AZxUtZ2ZgI)
> 
> the italicised scenes are flashbacks :P
> 
> [here's a playlist to listen to while you read!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6rPCMQC6J6EqmTupqtW7Mq)

All was quiet— save for the sound of Donghyuck slamming Mark against the wooden door.

“You could be gentler,” Mark mumbled against Donghyuck’s lips.

The latter scoffed, pushing himself flush against Mark, “And you could be quiet.”

Mark’s bubbling protest died in his throat when Donghyuck bit down on his lip. A low whine slipped through his lips, only egging Donghyuck on. Hands ran up Mark’s chest, the older shuddering under Donghyuck’s cold touch.

His hands were cold-- his hands were always cold, Mark knew that well.

He knew Donghyuck_very _well, he knew that his skin was sensitive, he knew that Donghyuck secretly liked it when he pulled his hair and he knew that with enough trying, he could get the younger boy to scream his name, though that didn't happen that often.

He knew that Donghyuck liked control, he knew that Donghyuck could easily pin Mark to the bed and turn his throat raw, but something was holding him back.

Having sex with your ex will do that to you.

Donghyuck and Mark had been broken up for the better part of a year now but for some reason they always found themselves crawling back. No matter what, Mark always found himself in Donghyuck’s bed, crying out and begging even though he was the one that ended their relationship.

Maybe it was because he still craved Donghyuck, maybe it was because his heart still raced each time Donghyuck’s cold hands touch his skin.

“Take it off,” Donghyuck growled as he tugged at the hem of Mark’s shirt.

Mark’s hands shook as he pulled his shirt over his head, the cold temperate of the room, only amplified by Donghyuck’s hands, was paralysing. His hands were everywhere _D__onghyuck _was everywhere taking and taking and taking until Mark was left breathless.

Donghyuck stepped away to unbutton his burgundy shirt before spinning mark around. With a cold hand on his chest, Mark fell backwards, hitting the soft bed without much of a fight. Donghyuck looked almost devilish as his cat-like eyes bore into Mark’s skin. He looked at Mark like he was nothing but an object, a toy. 

“Is it still me, Mark?” Donghyuck asked, as his intense gaze studied Mark’s exposed form, committing it to memory.

Mark felt powerless as Donghyuck crawled over his body, straddling his hips before sitting up and looking down at his chest.

“Do you ever think about me, Mark?” Donghyuck’s finger trailed up Mark’s arm, drawing a shuddering gasp from the boy beneath him, “Am I what you think about in bed?”

Mark thought that donghyuck looked utterly ethereal under the dim lights of the room, illuminating his collarbones and naked chest. His eyes were dark and swirling with nothing but revenge and power as his gaze fell on Mark.

“It was always me, Mark you knew that,” Donghyuck leaned down until he was a mere centimetre away from Mark.

“Foolish.” Donghyuck breathed out, his warm breath fanning against Mark’s red cheeks, “We both know it was always me.”

His hands slowly came up and tangled in Mark’s hair.

“Do you want me?” 

“Yes, please.” Mark breathed out, hushed and desperate as the weight on his hips finally got to be too much.

Donghyuck scoffed, sitting back up with a smug look on his face. His eyes were harsh and unforgiving this time, his gaze hot and heavy on Mark.

“What makes you think you deserve me?”

_ “He doesn't deserve you,” Jeno mumbled into Donghyucks hair as the boy clung to his shirt. Painful sobs ripped from Donghyuck’s throat as his nails dug into Jeno’s back. _

_ “He said he didn't love me. He said he didn't want me, Jeno.” Donghyuck cried out, his face red and splotchy. _

_ Donghyuck loved Mark, that was easy to see. He stayed up late listening to Mark’s nonsensical rants, he made time and always went the extra mile, but mark never did the same. _

_ It was apparent that mark never learned how to drive since his love was never a two-way street. _

_ It was only a matter of time before Mark broke Donghyuck’s heart and Jeno knew that. He felt stupid for not stepping in sooner, but Donghyuck assured him that everything was okay, that they were okay and that Mark did love him. _

_ “He never loved me,” Donghyuck whispered into Jeno’s chest, wet with tears. _

_ “Donghyuck, you know that you're so much better than him, you know you are. He didn't deserve you.” _

“I don't. I don't deserve you.” Mark confessed, truth and want laced in his words as Donghyuck rolled his hips. Mark’s eyebrows pinched, a low whine slipping from his lips as his hands came up to touch Donghyuck’s legs.

“You don't get to touch me,” Donghyuck seethed as he pushed away Mark’s hands. A groan escaped Mark’s clenched teeth as Donghyuck grinded down on him. He was enjoying this—torturing Mark, not gracing him with the luxury of power.

He knew he deserved it, he knew he deserved it for breaking Donghyuck, for breaking his heart, for always coming back even though he didn't want a relationship. He knew he deserved it for leading Donghyuck on.

“What’s wrong, Mark?” Donghyuck asked, that stupid smirk on his face.

“Don't act like you don't know.”

“Then don't act like you don't like it.”

“Fuck you,” Mark said before gasping when Donghyuck’s fingers made quick work of his belt and zipper.

“Nah, I’d rather fuck _ you _.” Donghyuck’s eyes were dark as he looked down at the boy beneath him.

Mark’s eyes squeezed shut as Donghyuck palmed him through his boxers.

“What do you want, Mark? Use your words.” 

“You. I want you.” 

A sigh escaped from Donghyuck’s lips as he lowered his head, his hands pulling down the last piece of fabric between them.

_Donghyuck sighed._

_ “He’s childish,” Donghyuck leaned back into the couch, holding his phone closer to his face so Jeno could hear him better. _

_ “What makes you think that?” Jeno asked, his voice coming out slightly muffled. _

_ “All he does is run away, all he’s ever done is run away.” _

_ “Hmm? Whats brought this on, I thought you weren't going to talk to him?” _

_ “I wasn't, and then he texted me trying to act like everything was okay and like he didn't, you know, break my heart into a thousand pieces.” Donghyuck angrily picked at the faux leather of the common room sofas. He would have to keep his voice down since he was in public, but seeing that text from Mark saying, 'hey how are you?' really got his blood boiling. _

_ “Oh no really? God, what an ass.” Jeno scoffed. _

_ “Yeah, and I tried to like, talk to him about our break up and stuff like that and tell him that I’m not ready to be friends until he fucking explains what happened because I still don't understand, but every time I try to bring it up he runs away.” _

_ “He makes me feel like a needy kid that won't let go of him because he won't answer my fucking questions, like that's all I want...an answer.” _

_ “He’s not worth it, you know that,” Jeno said after a moment of brief silence. _

_ “Yeah but...I need my answers Jeno.” _

_ I need my answers. _

“are you going to answer me or not?” Donghyuck said, his voice light and breathy. His hair was messed up and his cheeks were a bright shade of red from extertion. His already plush lips were swollen and puffy, and his eyes were dark with want.

The hand wrapped the base of Mark’s shaft tightened as Donghyuck playfully brought the head to his lips. 

“Please, please, please, Donghyuck.” Mark panted out, his chest frantically falling and rising. 

“Please what?”

“Please stop teasing me,” Mark begged, unable to stop himself from bucking into Donghyuck’s hand.

Mark’s dick twithced in Donghyuck’s hand, tapping against his own stomach and smearing precome onto the lines of his abs. Donghyuck breathed out a laugh at how wrecked Mark had already become as he leaned down and ran his tongue over Mark’s lower stomach to clean it up.

“Do you want more?” Donghyuck asked as he locked eyes with Mark, his lips brushing against the tip of Mark’s dick with each word, “Dont you think that’s selfish.”

“Ah,” Mark breathed out, “I’m sorry.”

“That’s better.” Donghyuck smiled, “Much more like it.”

And then Donghyuck finally gave Mark what he wanted. In one fluid motion, he wrapped his lips around the head and sank down. Mark’s fists balled into the white linen sheets, a desperate moan tumbling from his lips as he arched into Donghyuck’s mouth.

It was too much, and once again Donghyuck was everywhere, clouding his senses. Donghyuck's taste was in his mouth, his eyes were on his skin, his hands were everywhere. Completely engulfed by the heat of Donghyuck’s mouth, his head fell back, his jaw slack as he gave into the pleasure that Donghyuck never failed to deliver. Each time, Donghyuck nearly pulled off before deepthroating his length, and it was _ too much _

“Ah, Careful. Stop, I’m gonna-” Mark breathed out, his knuckles white from gripping the sheets.

Before he could continue, Donghyuck pulled off entirely.

“That’s no fun. You've obviously been having bad sex if that alone is gonna make you come. That’s just bad etiquette.”

Mark nodded, still on the brink.

“What made you think you could find someone better than me?”

_ “What are you doing here?” Donghyuck’s lips fell open in surprise when he ran into none other than Mark at a college party. It was a dumb frat party that his friend Chenle had invited him to. He didn't want to go, but he felt bad saying no to his friend and he did need to start getting out of the house more often. _

_ He didn't expect to run into Mark though. _

_ “Oh. Hi,” Mark had a sheepish grin on his face as he rubbed the back of his neck. _

_ Unspoken words hung heavy in the air as Mark took a step forward. _

_ “Can I get you a drink?” He asked and Donghyuck foolishly nodded, following Mark down the hallway like a lost puppy. _

_ The emotional wounds Mark had left on Donghyuck were still deep and fresh, and it hurt each time he touched Mark, each time he laughed, each time he touched his leg, each time he hugged him. Donghyuck still laughed and smiled, pushing down his budding sadness because he didn't want to scare Mark away. _

_ He wanted Mark in his life, he wanted him even if the older didn't want him. He wanted to feel loved, he wanted to feel needed and Mark gave him that, even if he never meant it. _

_ The dance floor was crowded, sofas pushed to the side to make more space for all the bodies squished together. Mark smiled that breathtaking smile as he pulled Donghyuck into the middle of the crowd. Music pulsed through their bodies as they danced, eyes locked in intense contact as all sensical thought left them. _

_ And then Mark leaned forward and kissed him. _

_ Those familiar lips were back on Donghyuck’s. _

_ Though he knew he shouldn't, Donghyuck kissed back. He gripped onto the nape of Mark’s neck, afraid that he would disappear if he let go, afraid that he would wake up from the dream world he was currently living in. _

_ A soft smile was on Mark’s lips once he pulled away, that smile that Donghyuck had fallen in love with. _

_ Around the fifth kiss, Jeno squeezed through the crowd, tugging on Donghyuck’s hand. _

_ “We have to go,” There was urgency in his tone, his eyes serious as he pulled Donghyuck away from Mark. _

_ Once the cool air outside hit Donghyuck’s face, once he was free from Mark’s enchanting gaze, all of the happiness drained out of him. _

_ He felt used, he felt walked all over because Mark knew that Donghyuck couldn't say no to him. _

_ And then tears fell from his eyes, like water through a broken roof, like blood from a cut as Jeno pulled him into a hug. _

_ His chest hurt, it stung as he thought about how easily he went back to Mark how easily let himself fall into his trap. Mark didn't want him back, he just wanted an easy fuck, all he wanted was to kiss Donghyuck, he didn't want the emotional baggage. _

_ Because he never loved Donghyuck, he had said it himself, so why did Donghyuck find it so easy to go back to him? _

_ Maybe it was because he refused to admit that he was still in love with Mark. _

“I just want you to admit it.” Donghyuck drawled as Mark writhed beneath him.

“I just want you to _admit _ that I’m a better kiss,” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Mark’s stomach, “A hotter touch,” Donghyuck tugged on Mark’s length, “a better _fuck,_ than _ anyone _ you'll ever meet.”

“You are, you are, you are, oh my god, please.” Mark panted.

“You had me, Mark. I was it,” Donghyuck sighed as he added another finger to Mark’s hole, the older shuddering, back painfully arching into the touch.

“I hope you regret leaving me every time you lay with another person,” Donghyuck emphasised each word with a thrust of his fingers.

“No matter how much you party, no matter how many people you sleep with, It’ll always be me, Mark, and you know that, don't you?”

Mark nodded, his bangs sticking to his face from the sweat on his forehead. Arousal pulsed through every inch of his skin as he let Donghyuck have his way with him.

It wasn't how he expected the party to go, but as Donghyuck told him to get on his knees, he couldn't find it in himself to complain.

_ “you know Mark is going to be at the party, right?” Jeno asked as he watched Donghyuck button up his burgundy shirt. _

_ “And?” _

_ “Are you sure you wanna go?” Jeno cautiously walked over, concern written all over his features. _

_ “I’m over him Jeno. I mean it. Why would I wanna be with someone who can't handle confrontation anyway?” Donghyuck breathed out a laugh, “Plus he doesn't like Twilight, that's an automatic F in my book.” _

_ “Fair enough.” Jeno giggled, “Be careful though, I don't want to see you get hurt, okay?” _

_“Someone like him couldn't hurt me,” Donghyuck turned to face Jeno with a genuine smile, “You don't have to worry. I’m over him and I mean it this time. Remember what I said? He’s childish and not worth my time.”_

_ Jeno still looked worried, but he still said, “Right.” _

“That’s right,” Donghyuck sighed as Mark bit down on the sheet beneath him.

Donghyuck was merciless, his fingers gripping Mark’s hips so tight they would likely leave bruises for Mark to discover the next morning. The lecherous sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the room as Donghyuck fucked into Mark. 

Mark’s cries were muffled against the bedsheets as Donghyuck leaned down and spoke filthy words into his ear. For the third time, Donghyuck was everywhere, all over his skin, all over his mind, as he thrust into Mark at a nearly bruising pace. All Mark could do was mumble, _Donghyuck Donghyuck Donghyuck_ as tears pooled in the corner of his eyes.

And then without a warning, Donghyuck slowed down to an achingly slow pace. Mark let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding in before looking back at Donghyuck.

“W-why?”

“I want you to hurt, Mark Lee,” Donghyuck said with a sickly sweet smile on his face as his nails dug into Mark’s hips.

“I want you to feel what it’s like to not get what you want.” Donghyuck leaned down and whispered in his ear. One hand released Mark’s hip only to wrap around his length, painfully slow as he bit down on Mark’s ear.

“Please, Donghyuck, I’m sorry, just- Please?”

Donghyuck sighed before giving Mark exactly what he wanted. He was weak for Mark, he was weak for his soft smiles and sweet words. 

Mark, on the other hand, didn't want to think about anything, he let Donghyuck fuck him senseless until all he could think about, all he could _do_ was cry for more.

It wasn't until the next morning that Mark realised that he had messed up.

Donghyuck woke up before him, the early morning sunlight bathing him in an almost angelic light as Mark watched him button up his shirt.

“Are you leaving?” Mark asked as he sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Why would I stay?” Donghyuck scoffed as he grabbed his phone from the bedside table and put it in his pocket.

_ I hope that you feel the pain. _

Mark winced when he tried to move, bruises from the night before leaving a dull ache in his lower half, “I mean you can stay for breakfast?” Mark gave him that breathtaking smile, but this time it didn't take Donghyuck’s breath away.

_ I hope it hurts when you crack a smile. _

“And let you lead me on again?” Donghyuck cocked his hip to one side, “I can't do this anymore.”

“What? No, you can't just-”

“Leave you? Yes, I can Mark.” 

“But-”

“I’ll be here for you whenever you decide to stop running away. I can't just be here all the time, I’m not a toy Mark, I’m not something you can use and then ignore until you want something.”

“Donghyuck-” 

“No, Mark.” Donghyuck sighed as he took a step towards the door.

_ I wish that it kills you whenever you feel happy or you feel fine. _

The sound of the wooden door shutting was deafening against Mark’s ears.

**Author's Note:**

> :O were you entertained?
> 
> lmk what you thought!!
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/jamjaems)  
[twt](https://twitter.com/qianjuns)


End file.
